How?

The Bible is so clear on the importance of taking every thought captive; thinking on the right things; being transformed in our minds; etc... How do I do it with lasting change? I feel like lately I'm totally having a full blown war inside between flesh and spirit... I know what's right, the Holy Spirit convicts me and leads me... but honestly over the last several weeks I've been warring inside to do what I know is right versus what I want to do. For the most part I've always found it pretty easy to do what God says, because I love to please Him, I love Him! So why now is it that I want to run away and hide from all the "pressure" that goes on when we say yes to Jesus? Why after 7 years does this craziness go on inside of me? I know deep down I want all He wants for me, I know I don't want to walk away from Him... but why now so much confusion? I'm in the Word everyday more than once... I pray constantly... I'm involved in Church... I have great spirit filled friends... so why? So anyways... any great words of wisdom would be much appreciated...

Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns:

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Hmmm I've Been Thinking....

I don't use this blogger site much anymore because I've gotten a myspace account. It's funny I had gotten a myspace for a couple weeks then deleted it because of all the junk I've found on there... but decided to have another one to keep track of what my kids are doing on the site. And I must say I'm pretty glad I did! It's easy as Christians to want to flee from everything that doesn't scream out Jesus or Church... but if we as Christians never leave our comfortable safe place how will they (the lost) ever hear and know about this Jesus we claim to love so much! Everyone who stumbles on my blog on this site is a "church" person... on myspace it's the opposite! I've had so many people of all walks of life read my blogs on there and view my profile! In a very short time span of like 3 months I've had over 1000 people view my blogs and site! I've had the opportunity to share God's love with a homosexual man whom I encouraged to attend a Focus on the Family conference about Homosexuality and he did...he still struggles but its a huge step toward his freedom! I've run into old friends who I used to party with and get into trouble with and I've been able to share Jesus with them! It's a flawed website with more bad than good... but ya know what time is short before Jesus returns... and the world is out there dying without a savior! Do we continue to hide in the safety of our churches and circles of christian friends or do we do what Jesus did and love the people in the world? It's for sure a fine line... we aren't to just hang with the world or we'll fall... but we aren't to hide from them in fear! I don't want to stand at the White Throne Judgement with anyone being judged looking my way saying hey you knew? why didn't you tell me?! I'll end this post with a song called My Jesus by Todd Agnew:

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus

I Love the Words to This Song...

Visible God by 4Him:

Sometimes I feel so inadequate
I start to question am I ready for these things you ask
My words are not so eloquent
But if I speak the truth in love
Even simple words are equal to the task

Oh Lord let your spirit rise within me
Until the world cannot deny that you exist
This is my only passion the very reason why I live

Chorus
To make you known
To make you seen
To be your hands
To be your feet
Oh I want to be a revelation of love
Oh I, I want to make the invisible god – visible

May my life be an offering so completely given
Till there’s nothing left but you alone
This is my prayer, my destiny
That my life reveals your glory
So that you remain long after I am gone

Oh Lord you have made me for this purpose
And all I have is just one life to give my all

Repeat Chorus

Make it clear to see who you are revealed in me (a sacrifice)
The beauty of the life you gave unending love amazing grace
My one desire, my one desire

Repeat Chorus

Prayer Request

This is more of a prayer request than a blog... We put our house up for sale this week, and want it to sell quickly!~ Also want to find a place quickly!~ But most importantly want the exact house God wants for us... He knows best and I want His will totally! Also I desparately want to go back to Israel in March... if the house sells this is totally possible financially... but either way I want so badly to go back! So that's my plea... Seems whenever I've put a request on here the answer has come quickly... so thanks to all of you awesome prayer warriors who are willing to add us to your list!

My Titleless Post... Not Sure that's a Word!

Aside from rant about MySpace... it's been a while since I posted. A lot has been going on. I was away in Guatemala for a ten day mission trip with 14 others from my church. It was in a word AMAZING! We worked along side a church there and did ministry with them. There was a lot of prayer focus, evangelism, marriage related conferences, dicsipleship, a feeding program for the children who live in the ravine (the poorest part of the city) we gave them breakfast before school, which for some was the only food all day... this was heartbreaking. We also taught English... I loved doing this! The people of the city were so wonderful... they taught a whole new dimension of love and servanthood. I love my team that went as well... I enjoyed all the different personalities and gifts the Lord brought together. Definitely hand picked by God. We also had a "down day" wow what a day! 2 days before we went home we spent the day at a resort... so cool! Swimming and relaxing all day! I am so happy I obeyed the Lord's call to this place. I never wanted to go... up to the day it was time to leave I didn't want to go... but I knew He had called so I went. There were so many reasons I didn't want to go... sadly the biggest one was a deep seeded prejudice toward Spanish or Mexian people, because of a lot of bad situations in my life when I lived in Texas. God more than broke this on the trip. I fell deeply in love with the people. So much so I'm going to be taking a Spanish class, so I won't miss the chance to really get to know this wonderful group of people. God has changed a lot in me. I'm not sure I did much for the Guatemalan people, but they did so much for me. I had something very cool happen to me... when I spent the night in Antigua I felt like the Lord spoke these words to me "You will stand on mountains in other nations and I will thunder down."... Made no sense at all, then the next day a friend and I were praying near the church (which is on a mountain) near a steep drop off, when we were about to say Amen it thundered twice! God is so AWESOME! Okay so this is a jumbled ramble I'm sure... but I never claimed to be poetic! I'll close with this: No matter where God calls you or what He asks you to do... DO IT! You'll never be the same! God Bless You All!

Perfectionist or Just Neurotic :)

I'm not sure which I am really a perfectionist or just plain neurotic? Hmmm... well this whole planning and packing part of Guatemala has been a crazy few days! I won't have my helper with me (Josh) he always lifts all my heavy stuff.. so I needed a way to still bring my junk and not die trying to lift it. Well I was told backpacks are the way to go... but of course we have no stores around here which carry such a thing. So I prayed the Lord would please send me a backpack... that was on Saturday morning. I went to every store we have and went online but express shipping would have like doubled the price! So anyways, last night at a youth as I was getting in my car someone offered for me to take a look at the backpack they have which just happens to be in their room! Not packed away but right handy to grab! God is so good... I now have a backpack to journey to Guatemala!
I was also very touched last night at youth when it was suggested by 2 girls that we (Kyrstin, Ben, and I) be prayed over for our trip to Guatemala! That meant a lot! My "Great Adventure" begins Thursday!

Saddle up your horses by Steven Curtis Chapman

Started out this morning in the usual way
Chasing thoughts inside my head of all I had to do today
Another time around the circle try to make it better than the last

I opened up the Bible and I read about me
Said I'd been a prisoner and God's grace had set me free
And somewhere between the pages it hit me like a lightning bolt
I saw a big frontier in front of me and I heard somebody say "let's go"!

CHORUS:
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great Adventure

Come on get ready for the ride of your life
Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind
And discover all the new horizons just waiting to be explored
This is what we were created for

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
We'll travel over, over mountains so high
We'll go through valleys below
Still through it all we'll find that
This is the greatest journey that the human heart will ever see
The love of God will take us far beyond our wildest dreams

Yeah... oh saddle up your horses... come on get ready to ride

CHORUS

A Teachable Heart No Matter Who is Teaching....

1 Timothy 4:11-13 (New Living Translation)
"11Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them. 12Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 13Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers, and teaching them"

I am so blessed to have so many "Timothys" in my life. Young people with a gift to share wisdom and insight that comes from the very heart of God. This past winter I was in an amazing Bible study and my "teacher" was at least 10 years younger than me and I learned so much from him. Last night I had the chance to talk for a while with my neice and got so much encouragement and insight from her. A couple weeks ago I was hurting over an unkind word spoken to me and another neice spoke life into me and made that word vanish from my heart and mind. Too often the "youth" get looked down on... oh they haven't been there, oh they have no idea... but ya know what is so cool..... it's Jesus living in them and let me tell you He's been there and then some. So Listen to the young Jesus followers... you'll be surprised how much you'll grow! Thanks Christy, Adam, Sherri, and a whole bunch of others too! God bless you all with an amazing day!