Perfectionist or Just Neurotic :)

I'm not sure which I am really a perfectionist or just plain neurotic? Hmmm... well this whole planning and packing part of Guatemala has been a crazy few days! I won't have my helper with me (Josh) he always lifts all my heavy stuff.. so I needed a way to still bring my junk and not die trying to lift it. Well I was told backpacks are the way to go... but of course we have no stores around here which carry such a thing. So I prayed the Lord would please send me a backpack... that was on Saturday morning. I went to every store we have and went online but express shipping would have like doubled the price! So anyways, last night at a youth as I was getting in my car someone offered for me to take a look at the backpack they have which just happens to be in their room! Not packed away but right handy to grab! God is so good... I now have a backpack to journey to Guatemala!
I was also very touched last night at youth when it was suggested by 2 girls that we (Kyrstin, Ben, and I) be prayed over for our trip to Guatemala! That meant a lot! My "Great Adventure" begins Thursday!

Saddle up your horses by Steven Curtis Chapman

Started out this morning in the usual way
Chasing thoughts inside my head of all I had to do today
Another time around the circle try to make it better than the last

I opened up the Bible and I read about me
Said I'd been a prisoner and God's grace had set me free
And somewhere between the pages it hit me like a lightning bolt
I saw a big frontier in front of me and I heard somebody say "let's go"!

CHORUS:
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great Adventure

Come on get ready for the ride of your life
Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind
And discover all the new horizons just waiting to be explored
This is what we were created for

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
We'll travel over, over mountains so high
We'll go through valleys below
Still through it all we'll find that
This is the greatest journey that the human heart will ever see
The love of God will take us far beyond our wildest dreams

Yeah... oh saddle up your horses... come on get ready to ride

CHORUS

A Teachable Heart No Matter Who is Teaching....

1 Timothy 4:11-13 (New Living Translation)
"11Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them. 12Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 13Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers, and teaching them"

I am so blessed to have so many "Timothys" in my life. Young people with a gift to share wisdom and insight that comes from the very heart of God. This past winter I was in an amazing Bible study and my "teacher" was at least 10 years younger than me and I learned so much from him. Last night I had the chance to talk for a while with my neice and got so much encouragement and insight from her. A couple weeks ago I was hurting over an unkind word spoken to me and another neice spoke life into me and made that word vanish from my heart and mind. Too often the "youth" get looked down on... oh they haven't been there, oh they have no idea... but ya know what is so cool..... it's Jesus living in them and let me tell you He's been there and then some. So Listen to the young Jesus followers... you'll be surprised how much you'll grow! Thanks Christy, Adam, Sherri, and a whole bunch of others too! God bless you all with an amazing day!

Having Favorites Isn't Wrong Just How We Handle IT

I don't think it's wrong to have favorites... favorite people even. There are people I enjoy more than others, people who are more talented than others, people who are more fun than others, people whose personalities I have more of a connection with tend to be my favorites! Were you ever "teacher's pet" might have felt good for you but think of the kids who weren't! What is there self esteem like now?
Even Jesus had favorites to some degree... He called David the "apple of His eye"; He called Abraham "His friend"; He loved John in a singled out way; He wept over Lazarus.... yet He made the woman at the well feel amazing too! He made the lepers feel wonderful! He defended and upheld the adulteress! I bet no one ever knew Jesus had "favorites"! Because He loved all... that's what He told us to do! He doesn't care how good you sing, He doesn't care about all the talents you have, if you don't love people... you've missed the point of this whole journey! God can do the miracles... He's asked us to give the hugs, hold the door open, hang out with a "nerd", laugh at a dumb joke, visit a shut-in! He's asked us to Love! So go ahead and have those you enjoy more than others... but be so careful that those you don't enjoy to much never sense it!
The Lord has been really dealing with me on these things regarding Love! I've been pondering and meditating on 1 Corinthians 13 for about a week now... so often in this walk we seek the great spirtual gifts and yet if we attain all these great gifts and don't love the lowly, smelly, unlovable people... we have nothing! It's so hard, yet so simple! God help me to love those you put in my life... regardless of what they are doing, saying, or how hard it may be! You loved me enough to die for me not after I got "saved" but while I was dirty and full of sin! Thank you Jesus for that gift!
So be careful that only you know who your favorites are... others can really be hurt if you aren't. When someone who is one of my "favorites" comes to me with sadness and tears because she / he was made to feel like nothing by someone who is in a position to help build her / him up this bothers me! I'd rather not see that again... so please be careful...
This may seem like an odd post but I hope it helps at least one very special person...

Every Little Detail of My Life is Important To God... How Cool is That!

Every year I plant a really pretty flower garden, which can be quite costly! Well because of my mission trip to Guatemala and the rainy weather we've been having I had decided I wouldn't use the money I normally do to plant a garden. But in my heart I was sad... no beautiful awesome smelling snap dragons... no pretty colors... So yesterday I decided okay fine I'll go to Walmart and get some of thier leftover flowers and have a garden... not like I usually do but at least something. Went to Walmart... no flowers... a few other places and they too were out. So I decided I'd try the place I normally go (the best place around... so I was certain they'd be out too) Well much to my surprise they still had flowers.... Snap Dragons! And other beautifully colored ones too... needless to say I have my flower garden... and it all cost $8.00! Jesus showed His disciples the miracle of fish and bread and I showed my children the miracle of flowers! So many it filled the flower garden and the mailbox area! God is so awesome! He knew in my heart I was sad about my flowers, but I really didn't want to spend money on something like that with my trip coming up! Nobody could have possibly known how I felt... but my "Daddy" did! I love knowing He's in the Little stuff!

A Little Hug From God To Me (I Love Those)

When I took my son to his orthodontist appointment a week ago, he had a box of Christian videos in a box that said "help yourself"... so we took a few of the videos and the night before last I was a bit tired and laid down to watch one... so here's what God did for me... I'm going to Guatemala on my first mission trip ever in just under a month... well my favorite singer / songwriter ever is Rich Mullins (he passed away in 1994 in a car accident). I've always said I'd have loved to have met him... I could picture us around a campfire, him with his accoustic guitar and just worshipping our Lord together.... well his mini interview in the video was opened with this "Hey Rich last time I saw you we were in Guatemala" "Yes, I remember that".... then on to a Rich Mullins video of him around a campfire worshipping in Guatemala with the Guatemalan people! I needed that! Corny as it may sound it made somthing in me finally click and a lot of my fear toward going has been replaced with an excitement! God knows how to let us know in such sweet gentle ways... He knows our heart and He loves us so much! I have so many stories like that... so many times that God has given me those little heart's desires that are tucked so deep in me, that only He could possibly ever know about! That's how I know how real He is... He's the God of the Universe and Creator of all, but He finds time for me! That is mind blowing to me... Thank you Jesus for knowing me!

"Be Still and Know That I Am God"

Lately life seems really different like something amazing is in the works... yet sometimes it's a bit overwhelming and fear creeps in. Church service was awesome last night... spoke heavily on the importance of seeking God to know Him not to use Him for your personal gain or need... but to seek to know HIM to Seek His face... to be in relationship with Him. For the last 3 or so months seems everytime I question any of what is going on or get in that wrong mindset... I cry out to God and every single time lately I get the same response "Be still and know I am God." That is soooo hard for me... I like to be involved and help the situation out! I like to know the end result... I am never still!
All my life I've heard the saying "Don't worry about the destination, it's all about the journey." Last weekend I heard a whole new look on that and it has made that verse make so much sense to me for the things going on in my life right now. Here is what was said "There is no guarentee the journey will be easy or safe but you can be sure of your destination." God makes everything so different.
God is showing me bit by bit He wants me to be basically a shell... He wants my life! He wants to be able to use me however He needs to wherever He wants to. And as long as I am still alive in the flesh He can't. But He is patient and gracious with me... and slowly but surely I'm coming around! I do want to know Him more... I love His presence it's so amazing... I don't want to only be in it sometimes... I want the kind of life Enoch had... He walked with God... oh the peace he must have known... oh the joy he must have known. I've lately had a taste of that....I'm ready for much more! I know I'm rambling but I'm not forcing anyone to read this... so I guess I'm allowed to ramble. I've been saved since October 30, 1999, and I must say last night while I was praying before the church service, this amazing warmth overtook me.... I realized in my heart and head that I was actually having a conversation with Almighty God, He was listening to me, He was communicating with me, HE was right there beside me and in me, I was overwhelmed by that... I don't think I had ever realized that before... Prayer is so powerful!